Manifest Green

TMI Thursday: No it's snot

As The Missus of Mischief relays:

 

***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!***

This is probably the most mortifying incident of my entire young life.  And I tell this because…well…it was so bad.  To me at least.

Picture:  a classroom….normal classroom.  A teacher.  A bunch of students.  All desks towards the front.  Teacher kinda leaning on the edge of the desk.

Me:  third row from the right, second row back.  NEW KID IN TOWN.

Teacher (to get things started): So, does anyone have an amusing story to tell about (blah blah blah, don’t remember)?

Five hands shoot up in the air.

Five kids tell their funny (not) stories.

Teacher:  Anyone else?

No one raises a hand.

I think, perhaps…..maybe….I will tell a story!

I raise my hand.

Did I mention I was the new kid in town?

Did I mention that I am severely allergic to Georgia?

Teacher:  Stephanie?  What’s your story?

***I do not remember what story I was going to tell….just go with it***

Stephanie:  (tells part of a story)  (starts laughing)  (blows massive snot BUBBLE out of nose)  (is mortified)

Why do I even bother?

And yes....EVERYONE saw.

The end of my weekend :(

I wish I could have weekends just like everyone else.  Or at least everyone in the world that has a normal Monday through Friday, 9 to 5-er job.  that would be awesome.  But I don’t have that.  I get days off sporadically.  Like this week, for instance.  I had today off and then I have Tuesday off.  Though it is nice to know I am at home lounging during the week when others are at work, it still isn’t fair to not have two days off in a row every week.  You know what makes it even more sad?  I make out the schedule.  Now that is pitiful.

Anyhoo, I have not been feeling well for the past couple of days.  It started as a slight headache, then developed into a worse headache which manifested itself into a sinus issue this morning.  I mean, I was congested last night, but nothing like today.  So I have been whiney and cantankerous all day. 

I will probably be that way tomorrow, too. 

So yeah.  I was planning on drawing today, but that didn’t come about just because of how I feel.  So I did an easy watercolor.  I got the idea from Craftster and it included a tutorial for it.  I forgot how fun masking fluid is to work with.  And the whole thing was easy-peasy.  The longest parts were waiting for the masking fluid to dry (about 2 hours or so) and then waiting for the watercolors to dry (not long).  Next time I will try several colors.

I think I will do some drawings tomorrow.  Unless insomnia hits tonight, which a greatly doubt.

So, there you go.  I am now going to go and crawl into bed and suffer in silence (because Brett is at hockey right now…).

Good night!

TMI Thursday: It was the 80's!

Just as Madame "I would do the dirty work, if only I wasn't the Madame!" Lilu orders:

***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!***

The only thing you need to know about this is:

1.  It was the 80's

2.  It was my first ever dance

3.  Yes, those are braces

4.  I hated the dress, but my mom made me wear it

5.  The dress was a hand me down from the daughter of a friend of my mom

6.  I hated the shoes more

7.  The only song I danced to in this dress was "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" by Poison

8.  I did my hair myself

9.  The guy I danced with was named Justin and he thought we were going steady after the song

10.  When I told him I didn't want to go steady with him he called me fat and ugly

So, enjoy!

 

So looking at the picture I have a few questions for 12 year old self:

1.  What was the hand stamp for?  Was I at a bar the night before or something?

2.  What the hell possessed me to do my hair like that?

3.  Why do I look high?

4.  What's up with the gourds my parents had on the fireplace?

Happy TMI Thursday!

Pool Day!

Today is the day that I have been looking forward to all week!  It was pool day!  Miranda brought Karissa up to swim in the pool and hang out.  I got some great pictures and some great video!  So, here we go!

Karissa in the water

Here are her feet…she was diving!

The loverly Miranda

Again, in the water, diving

Just sittin’ on the steps

Sending pictures or video to people

Again, by the steps…probably begging us to come play

Right after filming Karissa being silly

People look funny in the water…

Woogly legs

Discussion about floaties…

Here is some video I got:

Anyhoo, after a while I guess Karissa got tired of being in the pool and wanted to go back inside.  So we did just that!  I stopped to check the mail and Miranda and Karissa pointed out an inch worm hanging from a tree (look close!):

When we got back inside I got out some coloring pages and crayons for Karissa and then we ordered lunch!  Chinese!  Yum!  And watched movies.  The first we watched was Enchanted and the second one was Ferngully.  Which I had never seen the latter before.  Karissa colored and played with a Bratz beauty head (you know, the dolls with the dsl’s?).  Anyhoo, pictures of life on the inside:

It is very hard to get a clear picture of a wiggly little girl

 

There we go!

 

Nom nom nom nom nom….

 

Again, who moves this much?  Really?

Ah, a clear picture…

Not the clearest picture, but I like this one….one day those feet are going to be even bigger than they already are

So, anyway, after they left to go home (to beat the traffic….the traffic here in the city…the only traffic they have down where they live is a stray wild turkey or cow crossing the road) I took a little nappy-poo.  And I guess it was longer than I thought because before I knew it Brett was calling to say he was on his way home. 

And now he is home!  And he is cooking dinner!  Yum!

So that was my day!  Exciting, no?

Check back tomorrow for TMI Thursday!

Because I can

I feel the need to share this site:

Puddle of Ink

I love this site!  I even added it to my blogroll! 

Sigh!

It’s like everyone loves furbabies as much as I do!

The Highlander!

Though I don’t hang out at this place as much as I used to (as in, I don’t hang out at this place every single day anymore), I still love the food and the ambiance.  It’s right down the street, like walking distance.  They have awesome burgers, the best tots, and a nice selection of beer.  I haven’t had their jerk chili yet, but perhaps next time I go.  Their potato soup is just to die for, as is the fish and chips meal. 

Sigh.

I love The Highlander.

The Highlander • 931 Monroe Drive • Atlanta, Georgia 30308 • (404) 872-0060

And I totally am not getting paid to say this.   I really do love this bar.

Busy day….

…and it’s not even 4 yet! 

So, let’s see.  I joined the Sierra Club today.  It’ actually something I had been considering, and today seemed like a good day to do it!  I met some people through work that are members and they don’t just sit around.  They have events all over the country, and they have events right here in Atlanta for the Atlanta Chapter!  I keep looking at their website to see what activities and events I could join up in, and I realized that some of the most interesting are only for members.  So, yeah.

Anyhoo, after that Brett and I had an adventure!  We went up to Alpharetta to some store (Frye’s?  is that it?) and got a printer/copier/scanner for me!  Yay!  This means I can print out doodads that I need for my artwork, scan pictures, print pictures and make copies of things I need in the name of art.  Brett said it is by far the coolest printer he has ever owned.

(I totally borrowed that picture from www.nexus404.com)

I tested it out (after a brief temper tantrum) and it’s pretty cool.  I foresee myself having a lot of fun with this thing!

I also got some software that is templates and clip art and all that jazz.  And some software that is like Photoshop, but not Photoshop.  It’s PhotoPlus X2 !  And I still haven’t downloaded and played with it.  But I can’t wait! 

So anyway, that’s what is going on.  And I promise that as soon as I get my etsy store up I will let you guys know!

Today has been proactive…

So far.  I just joined the Sierra Club.  Because I am a treehugger like that. 

More later!

Feelin’ Artsy-fartsy

After I did paperwork this morning I went to the art supply store and bought some more art supplies.

I know.  Like I needed more.

Anyway, I got a light box, which I want so I can practice my drawing before going back to the tattoo shop.  I know I can draw, but I can’t trace.  And since I know that when I am able to actually use a machine I will be doing the silly little tattoos (little peaches with the words “Georgia Peach”, cherries, hearts, etc.) I figure that tracing is something I should be able to do well.  And right now i feel like it is horrible.  Of course I haven’t actually drawn anything in a while (painting and whatnot does not count).  So maybe I’m just rusty.

Anyhoo, I also bought some more inks!  I was actually looking for acrylic ink, but they didn’t have the brand I wanted.  then I saw these:

And I had to buy them.  The boxes are so freaking cute!  I so can’t wait to use them!

I also ended up getting some more art pens, more vellum, and….wow, that’s all.  So when I got home I immediately ran upstairs to start playing in my art room.  I didn’t do anything of great significance, but after about 8 hours I came out of the art room and into my bedroom having completely five inchies.  What’s an inchie?  It’s a little piece of art that is one inch by one inch.  And here they are:

Either I am a terrible photographer or the camera didn’t want to take the pictures that well because my watercolors look mottled in the picture, but not fo’ realz, you know what I mean?

Anyway, back to work for me tomorrow, but I am hoping to get inspired at some point so when I come home I can sit at my art table again and just kinda zone out for a while.

It is therapeutic for me.

A Plea

It’s very hard when you want to fix everything for your friends family.

 

I love you more than anything.  You are my family.  No matter the time apart and the differences we have had.

 

Tell me how to help you.

TMI Thursday: At Least I Didn't Drown

The Last Virgin On Earth, Lilu says: ***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!***

Ok, people.  I have actually told this story to several people over the past couple of weeks.  I guess it’s time to share it with you!

It is summertime in Atlanta.  This means it is hot and sticky and sometimes unbearable.  We do not have a body of water nearby, unless you count Lake Clara Meer, which there is no way in hell I consider it a place to play and cool off.  I wouldn’t dip a dead crack head prostitute’s big, fungusy toe in the water there (let alone fish!  EWWWW!).  So, yeah.  Unless you wanna travel for a ways (see:  my day trip to Tybee) you would hafta go to the water park, which does have the Atlanta Beach…which isn’t a beach.

Ok, so yeah.  This is a story about a long, long time ago and the water park.

You ready?  Here we go:

A long time ago I went to the water park, White Water.  I think this was the first time I had ever been to this particular water park, so I was pretty excited.  I cannot remember who I went with, though.  Hmm….they must not have been very important to this story.  Well, it doesn’t involve them at all, actually.  Anyway, I was soooo excited.  I went out and bought a new bikini and all that jazz.  I packed a little bag containing suntan oil (no SPF) and a towel (that I didn’t actually ever use) and some money to get into the park and then rent a little locker to put said towel, oil and money into.  For some reason I think I had bought one of those waterproof disposable cameras, also, but if I did I musta lost it because I don’t have the pictures from that day.  Which is fine.  The memory is enough for me.

Ok, so I tried all sorts of rides.  I did the lazy tubing river thingy around the park.  I did the little two person raft rides down the tubes.  I played on the “beach”.  I had a lot of fun!  But the ride I really wanted to try, the one that looked the most fun, the most daring, the one calling my name…well it was staring down at me, just waiting.  And I decided to go for it.  Whoever I was with said that there was no way in hell they were going to get on it.  So we made an agreement to meet up at another ride after I was done.  With.  The.  Dragon's Tail. 

Let me tell you about this ride:  it’s fast.  It has three bumps in it.  And it’s long.  And it drops you into a fairly deep (not really deep, but at this time it seemed really freaking deep) pool at the end of the line.  No rafts are involved.  The way it works is you trudge up to the top, wait your turn, then climb up on the slide and sit down.  The dood at the top of the slide gives you the instructions to keep your legs straight forward, cross your arms over your chest like you’re dead and then wait for the go ahead.  So, I get the go ahead.  And I start to go down the slide.  And it is not comfortable at all.  In fact, the bump parts are slightly painful on the back.  But that wasn’t what was wrong.  About halfway down I realized that something was VERY WRONG.  And there wasn’t anything at all I could do about it.  Yet. 

**commercial break**

Ok, so there I was, going down the slide and knowing something was wrong.  And then the ride was over.  I was in the pool.  I had another dood at the end of the pool waving for me to hurry up and get out of the way of the bottom of the slide and hurry up and get out.  But I wasn’t moving fast.  And there was no way in hell I was going to be getting out of the pool at that moment.  Oh, no.  I had to take care of something first.  I know, I know.  You are probably thinking, “oh, did your top come off?”  The answer is no, the top was still intact.  What had happened was the speed I was going down the slide, mixed with the rushing water, had caused a massive wedgie.  But that wasn’t all.  It also caused a massive melvin. 

Melvin?  What’s a melvin, you ask?  Well, let me tell you:

A melvin is when you get a front wedgie.  You know, a wedgie that nudges itself uncomfortably between your labia majora.  And in my case, between the labia majora AND the labia minora.

So in essence I had what I would like to call a “meldgie”.  And it wasn’t cool.  And I couldn’t, I just couldn’t get out of the pool like that.  So I am trying to swim to the edge.  And pick this spandex underwear outta my private lady bizniz while a bunch of people are standing along the edge of the pool.  Ho-my-god-it-hurt. 

And the worst part is that some people did see.  I mean, how in the hell can they not?  I was thrashing around in the water, with my hands down the front of my bikini bottoms, looking like I was totally trying to get myself off. 

I am totally afraid to go back to that water park. 

But at least I didn't drown.  Or get e.coli.

What a loverly day…

What a great day!

It started with me lounging in bed, watching TV and playing online for a while.  Then I got up and baked some super-duper fudgy-wudgy triple chocolate MUFFINS!  I will take some pictures of the leftovers tomorrow, though.  I don’t feel like it right now.

Anyhoo, then I went to Tim’s house to take him some muffins and chit-chat about going back to finish my tattoo apprenticeship with him.  However, he was asleep.  I did try to break into his house, but he had it all sorts of locked up.  So I sat outside and sent him a text message.  And sat there.  And sat there.  And after about 15 minutes it dawned on me that I had sent a text message to his house phone.  Because I am just that bright.  So I called the phone.  And woke up his roommate.  Who let me in.  And I put the muffins in the kitchen.  And bothered his roommate for a while.  And then left.  To go to….

…meet up friends I haven’t seen in a long, long time!  And it was fun!  We all met at a Greek restaurant.  I ordered, but I didn’t really feel much like eating.  Even though the food was good, and I would go back, I just kinda felt claustrophobic.  So I only stayed for about 2 hours or so.  We chatted about the olden days and all.  It was nice.  I miss those guys!

Anyhoo, I came home and climbed into bed.  Seriously.  It is now 10:35PM.  I have been in bed for approximately 7 hours playing on the computer!  How freaking awesome is that?

So yeah.  I figure I will get down to the tattoo shop soon. 

For now I am going to lounge, lounge, lounge….

Day trip to Tybee Island!

So Brett and I took a little (long) day trip to Tybee Island yesterday.  It was a long, long day.

 

We woke up before the sun and the birds.  We first drove down to Miranda’s to drop off my plants that needed to get into the ground…you know, the bleeding heart and the black eyed susans and the phlox.  And we took a computer to her since hers crashed.  And she loves it!  Yay!

Here are pictures I took at her house.  It’s light because the sun came out on our way down there.  She lives a bit more than an hour away.

Then we drove up and got on the freeway.

We stopped in some little town (?) and used the restroom in the “tourist center”.  Were I took some pictures of said “tourist center” and bought a cookbook that contains all blueberry recipes.

 

Then we got back out on the road where I read some funny stuff that had us in tears and I took pictures of clouds.

Then we got into Savannah and promptly got lost because we didn’t have the directions and I hadn’t been to Tybee Island in so long that I had forgotten how to get there.

 

Finally we found the correct road that would take us to the Island and we were once again off!

 

When we got to the beach we saw some birds sitting on some posts, one bird until they had all of the posts covered.

Then we walked down to buy some flip flops and a cover up and some food, because we are just all sortsa silly and it makes us forget to bring stuff we need.

Then we just kinda walked around the beach.  We sat for a while and then walked some more.

 

By the way, some dood was fishing off the beach and caught a baby shark.

Anyway, we left to go home so we could arrive home before midnight.  And I took this awesome picture of an old Taco Bell sign.

And here are some awesome videos I made!  I am totally going to be a famous movie maker after this!

Baby Shark:

Me chasing down a bird:

And a periwinkle that is burying itself back into the sand:

 

I had a lotta fun!  We were so tired when we got home.  I know I slept very well.  So we left at 6 in the morning.  Got to the island at about 11:30.  left the island at about 6 in the evening.  Got home at about 10 at night.  A good long day. 

So yeah.  Today wasn’t as exciting.  I just went to work at another salon today just to do some paperwork and start getting stuff together to help out their new manager. 

And now I am home and so happy to be here.  After yesterday my couch and my bed feel better than ever!

Check it! (this time it might actually work!)

I spent a good portion of today working on Earth Gypsy Studio's website, redoing the banner and the super cool colors.  I think it's pretty damn cool and I hope she does, too!  

Go take a gander at it and tell me what you think!

The only problem I am having with it is that the domain name is pointing at it but the "typepad" still comes up in the addy bar.  I am waiting to hear back from a dood in Singapore that works as a tech guy for whois to get back to me. 

TMI Thursday: We Should Totally Go Drinking Together

And what does Lady Lilu always say?  That's right:  ***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!***

 

Okey, this was gonna be another story, but I decided to go with this one because…..well, I woke up and thought this was a better one for today.  Maybe next week I will tell the original story.

Ok, so this is a story about a dood named……let’s call him……um……Jeff.  That works.  Ok, so I went to high school with Jeff.  He was actually the boyfriend of my best friend’s sister.  And people thought he was pretty cool.  At that time, mind you.  Years go by, he gets a bit strange.  He thought he was a fucking vampire.  Fo’ realz.  No shiz.  Like, he would talk about how he would turn into a bat in the middle of the night and go flying around peeking in everyone’s window and all.  Just absolutely bat shit (tee hee) crazy.

So anyhoo, after I move back to Atlanta I somehow get in touch with Jeff.  I can’t remember how.  It probably had something to do with my-own-space, but I really can’t remember.  I do remember, however, that he came by my apartment a couple of times and we would hang out.  It’s was all cool and shit.  Until.  The.  Horrible.  Night.

So, I built up the suspense, so I guess I gotta tell you now.

So L…..I mean Jeff, came over to hang out.  We decided to go and get fucked up have a few drinks at the bar beside my complex.  So we walk over.  And we sit and drink a few beers.  And then at some point, someone (me) decided that shots would be super great and ordered two shot.  Of my good, old friend…Jim Beam, hells to the yeah!  And Jeff said he didn’t do shots.  So I, of course, made fun of him until he felt pressured enough to drink the damn shot. 

I should probably point out here that this bar, like any GOOD bar, doesn’t just pour a shot, they pour a SHOT like 2 1/2 worth, so.

Anyhoo, so there we are.  Sitting there.  Shots in front of us.  We pick up the glasses and toast my usual (may you never be so drunk as to not be able to hold onto a blade of grass), and down they go.  And it was good.  I mean, it musta been the best shot in the entire world because I remember that mofo unlike anything else.  Or maybe in was what happened.

Jeff.  He was having a great time.  Sitting there, talking and shit.  Then, all of the sudden, it happened.  One second he was sitting and chatting and smiling and shit, the next he was….he was….I am gagging….he was THROWING UP ALL OVER MY JACKET!  No shit!  The dood threw up on my jacket.  At the bar.  In front of people.  People that saw this. 

And you know what he says?  He says, “I told you I didn’t like shots.”  Well, no shit.  You coulda said something to the effect of you get sick and throw up on people’s jackets when you drink shots.  Or that shots don’t agree with your dainty girly stomach.  If you know it’s gonna happen then don’t fucking do it.  No matter how much someone is pressuring you.  I mean, would you rather be made fun of for being a puss or embarrass yourself  by throwing up on another person?  I mean, really. 

Anyhoo, I totally acted like it was no biggy in order to not embarrass the poor guy anymore in public and we walked back to my apartment, where I suddenly didn’t feel like hanging out with him anymore, so I sent him on his way.  And washed my jacket.  In hot water. 

It still has a stain.

That was the last time Jeff and I hung out.  I saw him about a year and a half later at a show.  He was hanging out with another dood I went to high school with.  And he wasn’t drinking shots.

Ears are gonna (get) roll(ed up)!

I have got a headache from hell.  It’s not in my head, it’s actually in my neck.  And it won’t go away.

So, to date, my pains are (from neck down):  behind left ear, back of neck, both shoulders, (we will start with upper phalanges here) wrists, left ring finger and right pinky, (back to torso area) lower back, both hips, left knee, right and left ankle, bottom of right foot.

I am falling apart.  My left ring finger worries me the most.  The pain there is constant, but every now and then there is a superbad sharp pain.  And picking things up, like my PBR can, makes it hurt like a mofo, all down the back of my hand.

I think my hand is gonna fall off.

Of course I always think my feet are gonna fall off.

Right now I think my neck is gonna fall off.

Big Sigh.

 

Today was pretty okay, so yeah.  No complaints.  I did have a talker, but he was British, so he was explaining to me all of the different accents throughout the United Kingdom.  I now know how to answer the question, “ryuyfmbrom?”.  The answer is no, I’ve only driven through Alabama.  Oh, and from what I gather, everyone from England likes reading Harry Potter books and Sci-fi.  Awesome.

 

And I have to tell this story, because Filterless Mags posted a story, and I comment with a story, but I found it so funny to relive it in my head, I decided I had to share it with you!

When I was in high school I had an ‘86 Ford Taurus.  But I totaled that car.  So.  Anyhoo, I ended up getting an ‘84 Crown Victoria.  A hoopty, if you will.  Without the big tires and awesome stereo.  In fact, it had an AM/FM radio, so to play my tapes I had a boom box that sat in the front seat between me and the passenger seat.  I was stylin’ and profilin’.  Anyway, I got this car before I graduated and I, in my mind, was awesome.  I was also quite generous.  After I graduated high school I was nice enough to drive to school my friends (one friend) that were still in (ahem) high school.  Actually, now that I look back on it, I was kind of an asshole in a way, but it’s all good.  I repent and move on.  So anyway, I had two people I drove to school.  One I picked up first (my at-the-time-boyfriend’s-brother, who we shall call Jerk) and then a wonderful girl that I loved then and still love dearly today (who we shall call….um….how about Cat?).  So there was this one morning that I pick Jerk up and he sits in the front seat as usual.  Then I pick Cat up and she is in the back seat.  And I am driving them to school.  Now here is where the story gets a little blurry for me.  I so do not remember what the hell was going on at the gas station.  Someone was there, or on the sidewalk in front of it.  I don’t remember.  What I do remember is that Jerk put his head outta the window and starts yelling at someone.  While we are at a red light.  In front of the gas station.  And I told Jerk that if he didn’t stop I was gonna roll his head up in the window.  Mind you, I was in an ‘84 Crown Vic, I was the shiznit because I had power windows, and yeah.   So guess who didn’t shut up?  And guess who put the lock on the passenger window from the driver’s side and then started rolling the passenger side window up?  And guess who got their head stuck in said window?  And then guess who started laughing really hard?  And then guess who was screaming about his ear? 

Wow.

Yeah, I did it.  What of it?  I’d do it again, given the chance.

More Doodads

A banana

 

Some croissants

 

A cake

 

 

A cake with a slice cut out

 

A cake with a slice cut out and something to emphasize size

 

There is a person on youtube that made a cake, but I can’t find the link and I can’t remember his/her screen name.  But I got the idea from him/her.  Maybe it was Gentleman Rabbit?  GentlemanBunny!  Found the video:

Isn’t it just adorable?

It’s My Finger!

For Your Enjoyment

TMI Thursdays: Where are you from?

 

 Mistress of Tabasco, Lilu says:

***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, "how many readers can I estrange THIS week??" TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else's!***

And in case you missed her war paint story from last week, you can totally click HERE!  and read it.  For her vlog this week that'l make your eyes water go HERE! HERE! HERE!  Cheers! 

Ok, this snippet comes to you via my desire to amuse people and failing miserably.

Last December my boss decided that since all of her salons were doing so well she and her husband were going to take the managers on a cruise to Cozumel, by way of Mobile, Alabamer.  I had only worked for her at this point for 9 months ( how appropriate for the story) so I didn’t really know the other managers well.  Oh, sure, we saw each other at meetings and during Children’s Miracle Network events, but I hadn’t really hung out with them.  I knew for a fact that I did not like one of them.  She was (is) one of those people that thinks she knows everything there is to know about hair(by the way, I am one of the most critical people ever…I do it to hide my insecurities….).  She was (is) also older, as in maybe 15-20 years older, than us other managers so that means (to her) that she is the all knowing of everything in the world!  The other manager was (is) pretty cool.  She has a ton of patience, but also a mouth that you don’t want in your direction if you piss her off.  I would talk about the fourth manager, but she didn’t go and I had never met her anyway, so she doesn’t matter.  What matters is that I was going to be stuck on a boat, in a room, with two people that I didn’t know that well and I was going to be forced to get along with them.  But the story of the cruise isn’t what’s important here.  The chit chatting on the first night is the most important part of my story.

You know how when you meet someone new, or when you come across someone that you have met but never really carried on a conversation, and you are forced into an awkward conversation about yourself and where you come from and your hobbies and whether or not you would totally get down and dirty with Andy Samberg?  Well, I got stuck in this conversation with my boss, her husband, and the other two managers.  Do I need to mention that all of us were already into our 3rd drink of the evening?  No?  Ok, I don’t think that matters, anyway.

Oh, I do need to mention that I have lived in several states during my lifetime:  Ohio, California, Tennessee (I think for a second or two when I was something like 2 years old), Colorado and Georgia.  This important for where this is going.

Ok, back to the story.  So there we are sitting outside, smoking like jailbirds, drinking frou-frou drinks and talking about the places we’ve been and the places we’ll go. 

And then this:

Boss lady:  “Say, didn’t you say you used to live in Virginia?”

Me:  “Uh, I guess kinda, in a way…”

Boss lady:  “What do you mean ‘kinda’?”

Me:  “Well, my mom’s name is Virginia”

::crickets:: (actually, I guess I should say ocean breeze and water lapping off the side of the boat…crickets in the middle of the Gulf would be pretty fucked up)

And that is how I singlehandedly stopped a conversation on the high seas and cause discomfort in my peers. 

Cupcake!

A cupcake made from Sculpey.  I don’t have an incredibly steady hand for tiny things like this, but I had fun making it.  I also had fun on Picnik with the photo.

No one is normal!

Today was totally ridiculous.  I’m not quite sure what is wrong with people, but it needs to stop.  STOP!!!!!!!

I was awakened from sleep this morning by my phone ringing.  At 4 in the morning.  Who the fuck calls other people at 4 in the morning?  I mean, if it was an emergency then that would be ok, but it wasn’t.  I didn’t answer because I didn’t recognize the number and I figured if it was important they could call back.  They left a message instead.  But I didn’t check it because I still figured that whoever it was would call back if it were really important.  After struggling I drifted back off to sleep.

And then the alarm went off.  And it was my turn to shower first (Brett and I take turns because it isn’t fair for one person to wake up first everyday and pick up dog poo).  So after taking forever and day to shower and finally gave up the nice warm water to Brett so I could take the dogs out.  And check my voicemail.  How about it was the plumbers for the shop calling to let me know that they set the alarm off and then just left?  I called the dood back and left him a message letting him know that I didn’t even realize him and his pipe laying buddies were supposed to be in the shop again and could he please call me back and explain what the hell he was doing trying to get into the salon at 4 in the morning anyway.  Then I called my boss, who had no clue about any of the goings on because no one contacted her either.  Then I called Jenn.  Who, of course, did not answer.  So the two people that can tell me anything won’t answer.  So I had to rush out the door so I could get to the shop and hopefully not find the alarm still blaring, or an angry police officer.  I tried to call Jenn again.  No answer.  Halfway there she calls me back, greeting my “hey” with a “why are you calling me at 8 in the morning on my day off?” to which I reply “why is the plumber in the shop at 4 in the morning setting the alarm off and calling me and why the fuck does he have my phone number?” to which she replies “oh shit”.  Apparently they needed to get in there again and Jenn gave him the key, my phone number as a contact number and then failed to mention it to me, or my boss, and failed to mention it to the two people that were there at close that should not have turned on the alarm.  After apologizing over and over again I finally got her off the phone and tried to call the plumber again, but still no answer. 

Then I got to the shop.

I was so angry.

The two people that closed up last night didn’t clean.  Well, lemme put it this way:  one of them didn’t clean.  It looked horrible.  It’s embarrassing if anyone walks by looking at what time we open and then glance in and see if looking cluttered.  I just can’t believe it.  Not to mention that some of the things not completed were unsanitary.  So I spent 45 minutes cleaning and folding towels and straightening up the waiting area and whatnot.  And sending mean text messages until I got two apologies.  Then….

The plumber came in.  And apologized for setting off the alarm and not waiting to find out if it would be turned off or what.  Just driving away.  Jerky.  And then let me know that his crew needed to get in tonight to install something and I finally told him to go check it now and see if we needed it to save time.  And he checked.  And we didn’t need it.  So I took the key back from him.  And sent him on his way.

Deep breath.

So it was a strange day.

On the upside I stopped and got a roast!  So we are having roast with  potatoes and corn on the cob for dinner.  With garlic clove bread!  Yum!

I also started on some crafts with my Sculpey that I bought!  I am excited!  I made some little things last night that I need to paint, and then I can post pictures of what I made! 

Ok, I am gonna go relax now before setting my draft for tomorrow’s TMI.  And I guess I should work on the schedule at some point for next week.