TMI Thursday: We Should Totally Go Drinking Together

And what does Lady Lilu always say?  That's right:  ***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!***

 

Okey, this was gonna be another story, but I decided to go with this one because…..well, I woke up and thought this was a better one for today.  Maybe next week I will tell the original story.

Ok, so this is a story about a dood named……let’s call him……um……Jeff.  That works.  Ok, so I went to high school with Jeff.  He was actually the boyfriend of my best friend’s sister.  And people thought he was pretty cool.  At that time, mind you.  Years go by, he gets a bit strange.  He thought he was a fucking vampire.  Fo’ realz.  No shiz.  Like, he would talk about how he would turn into a bat in the middle of the night and go flying around peeking in everyone’s window and all.  Just absolutely bat shit (tee hee) crazy.

So anyhoo, after I move back to Atlanta I somehow get in touch with Jeff.  I can’t remember how.  It probably had something to do with my-own-space, but I really can’t remember.  I do remember, however, that he came by my apartment a couple of times and we would hang out.  It’s was all cool and shit.  Until.  The.  Horrible.  Night.

So, I built up the suspense, so I guess I gotta tell you now.

So L…..I mean Jeff, came over to hang out.  We decided to go and get fucked up have a few drinks at the bar beside my complex.  So we walk over.  And we sit and drink a few beers.  And then at some point, someone (me) decided that shots would be super great and ordered two shot.  Of my good, old friend…Jim Beam, hells to the yeah!  And Jeff said he didn’t do shots.  So I, of course, made fun of him until he felt pressured enough to drink the damn shot. 

I should probably point out here that this bar, like any GOOD bar, doesn’t just pour a shot, they pour a SHOT like 2 1/2 worth, so.

Anyhoo, so there we are.  Sitting there.  Shots in front of us.  We pick up the glasses and toast my usual (may you never be so drunk as to not be able to hold onto a blade of grass), and down they go.  And it was good.  I mean, it musta been the best shot in the entire world because I remember that mofo unlike anything else.  Or maybe in was what happened.

Jeff.  He was having a great time.  Sitting there, talking and shit.  Then, all of the sudden, it happened.  One second he was sitting and chatting and smiling and shit, the next he was….he was….I am gagging….he was THROWING UP ALL OVER MY JACKET!  No shit!  The dood threw up on my jacket.  At the bar.  In front of people.  People that saw this. 

And you know what he says?  He says, “I told you I didn’t like shots.”  Well, no shit.  You coulda said something to the effect of you get sick and throw up on people’s jackets when you drink shots.  Or that shots don’t agree with your dainty girly stomach.  If you know it’s gonna happen then don’t fucking do it.  No matter how much someone is pressuring you.  I mean, would you rather be made fun of for being a puss or embarrass yourself  by throwing up on another person?  I mean, really. 

Anyhoo, I totally acted like it was no biggy in order to not embarrass the poor guy anymore in public and we walked back to my apartment, where I suddenly didn’t feel like hanging out with him anymore, so I sent him on his way.  And washed my jacket.  In hot water. 

It still has a stain.

That was the last time Jeff and I hung out.  I saw him about a year and a half later at a show.  He was hanging out with another dood I went to high school with.  And he wasn’t drinking shots.

Comments

[LiLu]

I would have thrown up on HIM in retaliation. Cause I'm classy like that.

[Sebastian]

Pfft... I thought that was going to turn into one of those awesome drunken-vampire-antics-in-the-bedroom stories.

You know, the kind you can find all over the web in Twilight fanfiction.

Where he drinks your blood.

But I guess vomiting is pretty good too!

[verybadcat]

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I wish I could remember exactly who you were talking about..

[Stephanie]

Lilu-I totally should have. But I am extremely lady-like at all times! Yeah, actually I would have if I'd had a chance to drink another shot...

Seb-you read Twilight fanfiction? Or do you write it? And trust me, there is no chance in hell I would ever allow this dood in my bedroom...barf-o-rama...ha!

Cat-ask your hubby if he knows who it is...I'm willing to bet he might!

[Jill Pilgrim]

Evdience that I am 7 years old: I literally laughed out loud at the visual of this guy throwing up all over your jacket.

[Stephanie]

I was gonna take a picture of the stain, but I don't have the foggiest whhat I did with the jacket. It's probably wadded up in the trunk of my car or something...

[Tara]

ROTFLMFAO!!!!! That sounds like L......Jeff. Poor guy..I don't think he ever drank too much heavy stuff really. Not that I ever remember...just beer. I also remember the vampire thing..wore sunglasses every where and would try to ninja himself every where but with those boots..you could hear him a mile away. Though I think the blade of grass hiding/holding on to was more than just drinking...kind of like walking around school most of the day screaming they were a doughnut and you were not to eat them.....