TMI Thursdays: Where are you from?

 

 Mistress of Tabasco, Lilu says:

***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, "how many readers can I estrange THIS week??" TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else's!***

And in case you missed her war paint story from last week, you can totally click HERE!  and read it.  For her vlog this week that'l make your eyes water go HERE! HERE! HERE!  Cheers! 

Ok, this snippet comes to you via my desire to amuse people and failing miserably.

Last December my boss decided that since all of her salons were doing so well she and her husband were going to take the managers on a cruise to Cozumel, by way of Mobile, Alabamer.  I had only worked for her at this point for 9 months ( how appropriate for the story) so I didn’t really know the other managers well.  Oh, sure, we saw each other at meetings and during Children’s Miracle Network events, but I hadn’t really hung out with them.  I knew for a fact that I did not like one of them.  She was (is) one of those people that thinks she knows everything there is to know about hair(by the way, I am one of the most critical people ever…I do it to hide my insecurities….).  She was (is) also older, as in maybe 15-20 years older, than us other managers so that means (to her) that she is the all knowing of everything in the world!  The other manager was (is) pretty cool.  She has a ton of patience, but also a mouth that you don’t want in your direction if you piss her off.  I would talk about the fourth manager, but she didn’t go and I had never met her anyway, so she doesn’t matter.  What matters is that I was going to be stuck on a boat, in a room, with two people that I didn’t know that well and I was going to be forced to get along with them.  But the story of the cruise isn’t what’s important here.  The chit chatting on the first night is the most important part of my story.

You know how when you meet someone new, or when you come across someone that you have met but never really carried on a conversation, and you are forced into an awkward conversation about yourself and where you come from and your hobbies and whether or not you would totally get down and dirty with Andy Samberg?  Well, I got stuck in this conversation with my boss, her husband, and the other two managers.  Do I need to mention that all of us were already into our 3rd drink of the evening?  No?  Ok, I don’t think that matters, anyway.

Oh, I do need to mention that I have lived in several states during my lifetime:  Ohio, California, Tennessee (I think for a second or two when I was something like 2 years old), Colorado and Georgia.  This important for where this is going.

Ok, back to the story.  So there we are sitting outside, smoking like jailbirds, drinking frou-frou drinks and talking about the places we’ve been and the places we’ll go. 

And then this:

Boss lady:  “Say, didn’t you say you used to live in Virginia?”

Me:  “Uh, I guess kinda, in a way…”

Boss lady:  “What do you mean ‘kinda’?”

Me:  “Well, my mom’s name is Virginia”

::crickets:: (actually, I guess I should say ocean breeze and water lapping off the side of the boat…crickets in the middle of the Gulf would be pretty fucked up)

And that is how I singlehandedly stopped a conversation on the high seas and cause discomfort in my peers. 

Comments

[LiLu]

Causing discomfort is my middle name ;-)

But you already knew that... Happy TMIT!

P.S. Not sure what you meant about your link...?

[Stephanie]

Maybe it worked itself out...the link to your tmit today kept going to a link page. Maybe I fixed it with my mind!

[Jackie]

That's hilarious. I wish my mom's name was virginia...

[BigSis]

Too funny! It reminds me of a joke... this kid asks Mom where she came from and Mom starts off with, "When a man and a woman love each other..." and as she finished the kid says, "Oh, Susie is from Montana."

And, BTW - I live in Virginia now :)

[Stephanie]

Jackie-or Georgia or Carolina or Idaho! How awesome would that be to be all, yeah, my momz is a ho, and people get all freaked out and you sez, hey momz...whatchu iz? and your momz is all like, Idaho and then you're all like, see? it's cool and shit...

BigSis-wouldn't that make you little sis now?

[Jill Pilgrim]

Hahaha- oh my God, that is frigging hilarious.

[Beth]

That is hilarious!

[Nikki]

That is awesome. Don't you just love it when moments like that present themselves?

[Stephanie]

Every moment of everyday. although I think the only other time I have ever stop a conversation was when I was visiting a friend whose aunt or something had ust dies and I had a buncha dirty jokes swirling in my head. Totally not appropriate.