Manifest Green

The End of the World Does Not Involve Tacos….I hope…

Ok, so apparently the world is falling apart.

I think.

A friend of mine is coming up to visit on Wednesday night and I have made an appointment with a psychic reader for her on Thursday morning.  It is needed.

I have known this lady for no less than 19 years.  In those 19 years I have never seen, nor heard her cry.  Until last night.

It’s time.

I will totally tell ya’ll how it goes!  I mean, the visit, not what her psychic says to her.  That’s a private thing.

Happier note, you ask?

I am starting to feel better.  I still have the sinus thing and the coughing thing.  I don’t, however, feel as though I will be dying anytime soon anymore.

And just to give you a giggle, I would like to share a text I received from Brett today:

Here’s a replay of last night:

You:  Hungry!  Want tacos!

Me:  OK.  I’ll make tacos.

You:  Yay!

Cookcookcookcook

Me:  Here are your tacos!

You:  Zzzzzz

Me:  nomnomnomnom!

I bet he didn’t even try to wake me up!

But I just had a taco.  It was good.

 

Latin Lies

As I sit here typing this there are three super hot Hispanic cabana boys named Julio, Eduardo and Pedro upstairs in my bathroom, presumable sitting in a bubble bath, waiting on me with shots of tequila and champagne, calling down the stairs, “Oh Este-phone-ee!”.  I suppose I should really be up there with them, allowing them to feed me chocolate covered strawberries and taquitos, but I have decided to share this with you instead!

Ok, so that was a lie.  I don’t know their names and I doubt they are sitting in bubbles with tequila, champagne, strawberries (chocolate covered or otherwise), or taquitos.  And they are not calling my name.  Oh, and they are not cabana boys.

In actuality there are three short Mexican men upstairs in my tub busting down the wall very loudly and yelling at each other.  One is short and fat, kinda old and pretty much completely bald.  The second one is short, not as fat, full head of hair, does not speak English at all.  The third is short, skinny, looks about 18 years old and keeps apologizing for opening the front door.  To which I reply, “Just close it behind you and it’s cool”.

Yes.  The kitchen ceiling was leaking again.  So they are ripping out the wall, replacing the wall and retiling the bathroom.  And the best part!?!?  Besides having a new wall and no more leaks!?!?!?  They took those horrible, nasty, smelling shower doors down and I can finally get a shower curtain to put up instead!  I am excited by that because I hate cleaning shower doors.  They never get clean enough. 

Oh!  And new tile!  I hope it’s yellow like the old tile, otherwise it will just throw off my whole insanity-yellow theme I have going on up there. 

Hey!  They are taking the second garbage can of tile and wall out!  Maybe they will be done very quickly so I don’t hafta feel bad about eating in front of them.  That was mean, huh?

Anyway, I have been doing laundry since I got down stairs this morning and I am almost done.  I already cleaned the kitchen (kinda) and the dining room and the living room (kinda).  After they finish up I will clean the bathroom and put everything back where it was.  Oh, how exciting, huh?

Sorry this is totally boring today.

I think the only other news to report is this jumble of stuff:

-my salon won and award, but the boss lady forgot to bring it with her yesterday

-there is a Christmas party on December 5th at this nifty little restaurant

-in an effort to keep me around (i.e. not let me quit) my boss booked me for a cruise for next summer

-I still hate my job

That was exciting, too, huh?

I am planning on sitting down one of these days and just rolling out a bunch of artsy crafty stuff sell.  I was planning on sitting upstairs in Trey’s room (my art room….it will always be called “Trey’s Room”, however) and finishing up my apron sewing for the salon, but with how freaking noisy it is I am not.  It was also planned to let the contractor(s) see Scampi so if they had any thoughts of coming back another time to steal stuff, they would think twice and not do it.  They saw her, they are scared shitless of her, therefore I have nothing to worry about. 

This is the Scampi face they saw:

Ok, not really…she just snarled and barked.  I don’t think she gave them the crazy eyes.

So yeah.  That’s all for now. 

PS-I think I am sick.  My throat hurts and I keep coughing.  Poor, pitiful me…

la de da de da

What a nice day! 

Ok, so last night we went and stuffed ourselves full of Mexican food and then went to see the movie.  Little known fact:  if you buy your tickets online and then decide you want to see an earlier viewing of the movie, you should be able to take the print out plus the credit card you used and switch your tickets out.  Provided the movie isn’t sold out.  So how cool is that?  And you know what happened because we did that?  Well, I will tell you in a second.  After I tell you how the movie is.

So, how is the movie Paranormal Activity, you ask?  Well, it was pretty ok.  I was not scared.  At all.  Brett liked it a lot.  I thought the beginning was slightly slow, but it rounded itself out and turned out pretty well.  I could have done without the parentless fourteen year olds screaming, but no biggy.

Ok, so what happened BECAUSE we switched our tickets out?  Well, anyone who has watched the questionable Paranormal State on A&E featuring The Paranormal Research Society will know this guy (btw, I say “questionable because…well, I’ve read things):

 

That, my fine readers, in none other than the famous (infamous?) Chip Coffey, Atlanta Psychic, Medium and, according to this, Actor. 

I will say this about Mr. Coffey:  I know he did not want to be bothered.  I know this.  It was his personal time.  I am slightly shocked that no one else at the theater recognized him.  But when I requested a picture with him he said yes, but clearly did not want to do it.  His friend smiled at me and I was happy.  When Brett pulled out the camera phone he perked up long enough to take the picture.  I told him my name and apologized to him for bothering him, to which he waved it off.  Then the picture was taken, we thanked him and walked off.  There was no mob off people running to him screaming.  So the attitude could have been left behind. 

I still got the picture.  Thanks, Chip Coffey!

That is such a terrible picture.  I have three chins and everything is red.  Brett is not a professional photographer, can you tell?

Anyway, besides one aggravating text message this morning i had a wonderful day.  Waffle House for breakfast, hot dogs for dinner.  Hot chocolate with peppermint Schnapps, and some hot apple cider.  Yum!  Lounging around doing nothing!  I love these days.

I was working (in my mind) on ideas for ways to (eventually) never have to work for the man again. 

But still being lazy.

Oh!  We watched Snoop Dogg's Hood of Horror (uhhhh…) and now…now…NOW..we are watching The Screaming Skull courtesy of The Midnight Monster Hop!  Where the hell has this show been my whole life?  Oh yeah, it used to be Elvira I would watch.

So yeah.  I am totally getting Halloweened up.  And I am in a much better mood since I had a day to myself.  Sweet.

                                Do I look Halloweened enough?

Stress Absolution…

It’s official.  I have tomorrow off.  No, really!  I am not taking any phone calls tomorrow, either.  And that means no phone calls from work.  The instructions were left that if there are any questions, ask the assistant manager.  If she can’t answer, call the owner. 

Go over my head!  I don’t care!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

So, tonight I am going on a date.  With a very handsome man.  This very handsome man is going to take me out to dinner for Mexican food.  And then he is taking me to see the movie Paranormal Activity:

I hope Brett doesn’t get upset.

Ok, kidding.  It’s totally Brett taking me out on the date.

So yeah.  Excitement!

Bitchity complainity…

It seemed so easy at the time.  All I had to do was be a manager.  All that entailed was paperwork, scheduling and making sure everyone did their job.  Not hard, right? 

Wow.  I was wrong.

After my post Monday about have the most delicious rainy day off…well, I got a phone call.  From a stylist.  Saying they wouldn’t be in.  And I could fire them because they were not going to be there regardless.

Sigh.

Yeah, I went in.  Why?  Because I do my job.  I do MY job.  And apparently other people’s job, also. 

And I blew up.  Big time.

After being yelled at the stylist had their significant other call me.  Like that will help.  By then…I was totally over it.  More than over it.  I had gone over it and was still running.

Yes.  I documented.  Then I made a decision.

I actually spoke with the salon owner and told her I was going to turn in my two week notice.  She talked me out of it.  Damn, she is good. 

So I made a different decision.  See, I heard that the stylists have been bitching about me, saying I do not do my job (i.e. I do not let them get away with everything, yet I am too lenient).  So I decided that from here on out they are going to end up with the the meanest motherfucking boss they have ever dealt with.  They think I am horrible?  They don’t know horrible.  They have been getting away with everything…until now.  I will document, I will suspend, I will do everything in my power to make sure that they do their job or get the hell out of my salon.  And will the salon owner back me up on this?  For a week or so.  And then it will slide right back to her not backing up her manager.  And the more she does that, the more determined I will be to make sure than when I quit, she will wish she had not let it happen.

I am a damn good employee.  I have been loyal to the company for nearly 14 years.  I have been loyal to this particular salon for 5 1/2 years.  I have been loyal to this salon owner for nearly 2 years.  I have done what i was told without question, even when I have not agreed with it.  I have gone above and beyond what most managers would do.  And (and this is important) I have never asked for a raise or any special consideration because of it.  (Note:  thought I have health and dental, that was carried over from the previous owners…so it doesn’t count). 

And I told the owner today, (quote, unquote), “I am done being shit on by everyone associated with any of the salons”.  Really.  I hope she gets it.

So anyhoo.  I then worked a 12 hour shift yesterday.  That was my own doing, though.  I totally forgot to schedule someone off, so I had to switch it around last minute and no one else would work.  So I did!  The great thing is that my Saturday shift is being taken over by someone else. 

Ok, I am totally done venting about that.

Let’s vent about something else! 

My nephew has decided to brainwash his little sisters into thinking he can take custody of them and raise them himself!  How about that?  You know, i don’t even wanna go into it.  It makes me too angry.

What else can I vent about?

OH!!!!  I have a UTI!  You know!  A urinary tract infection!  That’s some fun stuff!  But I don’t wanna bitch about that either.

How about how my Kroger doesn’t carry olive bologna loaf anymore?  Oh, you don’t like that?  You don’t care?

Fine.

I guess I am done, then. 

Thanks for listening!  Er….reading…yeah.

PS-someone found my site by searching "labia wedgie".

Rain, Rain, Please Don’t Go Away…Today (just don’t do any more damage to Atlanta!)

Ok, so the meeting last night wasn’t that bad.  There were about 50 people there and it turned out to fly by and be far more interesting than I thought it would be.

Now I get to have today off.  And it is raining.  So it will be a sleepy, sleepy day.

Ah, bliss!

An Almost Lazy Sunday

This morning was bliss!  I woke up early (as usual), but I knew I could go back to sleep whenever I wanted.  But I didn’t.  I did something nerdy instead:  I watched Star Trek.  Yeah.  I sure did.  Then I watched Lover Come Back with Doris Day and Rock Hudson.  Loverly morning.

When the movie was over I filled the tub with some water and sat back for a soak with the book Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger.  Before I started reading that I read part of Meeting Paddy O'Rourke by Patti B. Pruitt.  Now let me tell you how I came across this book:  when I walked into the bookstore yesterday there was a woman sitting at a small table with several books.  She piped up as soon as I walked in asking if I would like to have a book signed by the author.  I told her to give me a sec, because I wanted to get my magazine and books before I forgot why I went there in the first place.  She looked slightly dejected and I kind of felt like an ass.  Mainly because there was no one going up to her.  I don’t think she believed that I would come back by the table, but I figured that it would probably surprise her when I came back by.  So I went and got everything I wanted and then walked back downstairs to her table.  I picked up one of the books and she started telling me about it (its about a little boy meeting a leprechaun) and I told her I would be happy to get a signed copy.  Then I realized she had Book One and Book Two, so i had her sign both of them and I got them.  It actually wasn’t until this morning when I read the back of the book that I found out she is blind.  She is, however, a very visual person for being blind.  After I paid for my books I walked back by her and thanked her and she wished me a wonderful weekend.  Impressed.

Anyway, after my bath I decided to have leftover chili for brunch.  Yum!  Then I started sewing a little doll.  I am totally not putting a picture up of it because it is pretty horrendous. 

I now am playing on the computer until it’s time for me to…………GO TO A STAFF MEETING!  EW!  It’s tonight from 7pm to 10pm.  What salon has staff meeting on a Sunday from 7-10 at night?  Our salon, that’s who.  And I did not choose this.  I actually wanted to go down to Peachtree Christian Church for the Blessing of the Animals tonight.  But oh no!  I sometimes forget that my job rules my life.  You’d think I could remember that I am not allowed to choose what to do on a day to day basis for myself.  But yup, I am stupid enough to think I am my own person sometimes.

Sigh.

I wish I could get my shit together and start my Etsy store already.

Thankfully I have tomorrow off, also.  Tomorrow I have some things planned to do and hopefully nothing will mess that up (i.e. my job).  I am working 12 hours on Tuesday, so yeah.

See, now I just feel like crying.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEBE!

Today is Brett’s birthday!  And I am taking him to dinner!  And making him some brownies! 

Happy Birthday, Brett!

 

 

Dark Family Secrets

I don’t mind saying:  I think I get to deal with a lot of bullshit and I am totally jealous of others.

Why?

Lemme tell you a long, drawn out, boring ass story that not many people (until now) know about:

I have three sisters.  Two of them are half-sisters by way of adoption (my stepdad adopted me making him “dad”…my mom is my actual mom).  We will not be discussing these two sisters since they have no part of this story.  Just know that they are there and even though I do not talk to them often I have no problem with them and consider them great people.  I also have a full sister by way of adoption (my mom adopted her as a baby before I was born).  This is who the story is about.  Let’s call her Mary (not her real name, but just go with it).

Mary is not a good person.  I’m not saying she is evil and all (which she kind of is in a way), I am just saying that she chooses to live a hard life.  She has three children, all different fathers, yet she does not have custody of any of them.  One lives with the father.  The other two have been adopted by an awesome family. 

Mary has chosen to live a life of drugs, prostitution and prison.  No, I am totally  not jealous of her lifestyle.  I am disgusted by it.  I am disgusted just thinking about her.  But she has managed to come back into my life recently and she has already messed up.  I have not seen her in about twelve years.  I spoke with her for a few weeks early last year, but then she ended up getting thrown back in prison for eighteen months due to drugs and prostitution.  She got out about a month ago.  She called me telling me that she was going straight, she was going to go to college, she was going to get a job and fly right.  And I am so stupid that I totally believed her.  Just like I have believed her every other time.  For some reason I thought she sounded more sincere this time.  I really thought she would do it.  Well, she messed up and I got word today from her “boyfriend” that she is back in jail for prostitution.  I never want to hear from her again.  EVER AGAIN.

So anyway, her children recently got into contact with each other.  Like, within the past week or so.  And they are going to meet each other this week for the first time!  I know!  I am excited about this.  But also jealous.  I know I shouldn’t be, but I can’t help it.  I only know one of them.  But the other two I want to meet!  Is it wrong for me to feel this way?  Yeah, probably.  I need to push these horrible feelings away.

I am very excited for them, though.  I think my issue is that because their mother is my sister I feel as though I am being compared to her somehow, even though I know that probably isn’t true.  I mean, the two that were adopted are allowed to have as much contact with me as they want, yet she is not allowed contact with them. 

I don’t know.  I think I am so stressed out that everything seems bad to me right now.

I am stressed about my job, I am depressed due to my job, and I am having difficulties dealing with my feelings toward my sister and all of that. 

And I feel like a horrible person because of all of this.

Sigh.

Children’s Miracle Network and YOU!

I went to the meeting at Scottish Rite Children’s Hospital again this year in order to prepare for our fundraising.  Last year I got teeny tiny little diapers that they use on preemies to show to our clients.  This year I got a preemie blood pressure cuff.  Here it is with a standard cd to show size:

The loop is the tub that hooks up to the machine, the white square is the actual cuff.  Here it is next to the cd not looped up:

And the card it came on says:

Neonatal Blood Pressure Cuff

-At Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta, we treat ages 0-21.  Therefore, we require all different sizes of equipment.  There are 15 different sizes of blood pressure cuffs.

-The one featured here is for our smallest and most fragile patients weighing approximately 2 lbs.

-More than 1,300 babies are admitted to our Neonatal ICU each year.

-Their typical stay in the NICU is 33 days.

-Each neonatal blood pressure cuff costs $2.50.  So, Children’s spends at least $3,200 on blood pressure cuffs alone each year just for the NICU.

Children are not small adults;  their anatomy and physiology, the kinds of illnesses they suffer from and the treatments they need are different.  Children require specialized care from healthcare providers who understand and are trained in those differences.  This is why Children’s is dedicated to improve the health and well-being of Georgia’s children.

I am sure that Children’s Healthcare all over the country is doing their fundraising right now.  And I say:  GIVE.  One hundred percent of all donations goes to the children’s hospitals.  I know for a fact that Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta hospitals DO NOT TURN AWAY ANYONE, NO MATTER IF THE FAMILIES CAN PAY OR NOT.  They say, treat the child, treat the illness, and continue to save the lives of children.  Finances can come later.  The child is more important than money.  And NO CHILD IS EVER TURNED AWAY.

Children's Healthcare of Atlanta

Children's Miracle Network

Watch Videos of Miracle Children

You can also find hospitals in your area to donate to and/or volunteer at by going to the Children's Miracle Network website.

TMI THURSDAY: What evil little girls do

As the Queen Bee of Lipstick BeeJays, Lilu says: ***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!***

I am pretty sure everyone has something mean that they have done in their past that they should feel ashamed for doing, but they actually don’t.  I mean, I only have one (snarf) and I have decided to share this with you.  I was actually planning on doing this last week, but things came up and I didn’t.  So I am sharing it with you this week! 

I am sure the suspense is just killing you.

And just to add a disclaimer:  I was young and stupid and would totally never do anything this mean to anyone ever again. 

Yes, my fingers were crossed behind my back as I typed that.

One chilly Fall evening I was visiting some friends that lived just North of Atlanta.  They had just married and moved into a new home.  I had been invited over to see their house and hang out, have fun and whatnots.  The evening was getting on pretty well, and the three of us-myself, Gennifer and Chris-were having little drinky-poos, listening to music and talking.  At some point the conversation turned to their honeymoon and Genn started talking about this man-thong that Chris had and that we should totally make him give us a dance in this thong (I know!  What the hell was wrong with us?  Oh, margaritas..that’s right).  I cannot for the life of me remember how we managed to talk him into this, but he ended up climbing on top of the coffee table and doing a strip tease for us, down to this man-thong.  Genn and I were hooting and hollering at him, clapping and cheering.  I can’t remember the song.  Hmmm…anyhoo, his face was bright fucking red.  Like a ripe strawberry red.  But he kept dancing.  I think we may have thrown dollar bills at him.

But that isn’t the worst of it.

The worst part was what we forced him to do next.  I don't remember how we managed to talk him into it, but it was kinda mean (yet funny).  See, the neighborhood they moved to was very quiet, very nice, kinda old.  It had a four way stop a half mile one way and another four way stop a half mile the other way from their house.  And remember how I mentioned it was chilly and Fall?  Well, somehow we convinced Chris to walk down to one of the stop signs.  Naked.  Except for his running shoes.  In the cold.  And we followed him the whole way, giggling and laughing and picking on him.  We even threatened, once to the stop sign, to make him walk back without his shoes so that he would be completely naked. 

Why would he let us do this?

Did I mention Chris is a lawyer?  He knew better!

Man, what would have happened if we had been caught by the police? 

Oh!  And Happy October!

So yeah, I kinda feel bad about it.  But seriously, that was some funny shit.